Meme apocalypse - The Mother of all ADHD (Adult attention deficit hyperactivity disorder)

Meme apocalypse

 The Mother of all ADHD

(Adult attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) 

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75-year-old Texas rancher whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Sarah Palin and her bid to be a heartbeat away from being President. The old rancher said, “Well, ya know, Palin is a post turtle…” Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a ‘post turtle’ was. The old rancher said, “When you’re driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that’s a post turtle.” The old rancher saw the puzzled look on the doctor’s face, so he continued to explain: “You know she didn’t get up there by herself, she doesn’t belong up there, she doesn’t know what to do while she’s up there, and you just gotta wonder what kind of dumb ass put her up there to begin with!”

“New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie is doing the keynote speech at the Republican Convention. He didn’t want to, but they’re going to lure him in by having Paul Ryan drive the Wienermobile.” –Bill Maher

“Anthony Weiner admitted to sending inappropriate messages to several women via Twitter, text, email, and Facebook. I think the lesson here is that if you’re going to send explicit pictures of yourself, send them through MySpace, where no one will notice.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“Rush Limbaugh got married over the weekend. This is actually his fourth marriage; he blames the first three breakups on Obama.” –Craig Ferguson

“I was devastated. In fact, last night I went home and finished off a whole pint of George Soros’ Caliphate Crunch. Rum raisin with chocolate-covered micro chips.” —Jon Stewart on Glenn Beck’s departure from Fox News

Bill Maher on Rand Paul: It’s As If Sarah Palin Made It Through Med School

“Akin announced that he is staying in the race. Is that a surprise? A guy who that so little about a woman’s body doesn’t know when it’s time to pull out.” —Jay Leno

“It’s a great day for President Obama. His healthcare law was upheld by the Supreme Court. The president apparently had three speeches ready to go this morning. One if the law was overturned, one if the law was upheld, and one if Joe Biden chewed up the other two.” –Craig Ferguson

“In competing speeches today, President Obama said the U.S. went off course with practices like waterboarding. Cheney retaliated by saying he doesn’t regret any of the decisions he made, and if he had to do it all over again, he would order President Bush to do exactly the same thing. And then he ate a baby.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“Donald Trump said that if President Obama releases his birth certificate, Trump will release his tax return. Obama said he won’t run for a second term if Trump releases that thing on his head.” –Conan O’Brien

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