The Effect of
Personality and Public Urination
in Military, Sports and Diplomatic History
Robert Massie discusses an interesting incident involving the Duke Of Marlborough (John Churchill) and a Swedish Ambassador acting on behalf of the King of Sweden (Charles XII) in the late 17th Century amid the Wars of Spanish Succession and the Great Northern Wars.
The Protocols of a titled Nobleman meeting an actual King (Head of State) were on the minds of both parties in this meeting between probably the two greatest Military Minds of the period. Charles had remarked that he found John Churchill “rather overdressed for a soldier” and the Duke probably was not pleased with this remark, however he still tended to flatter Charles in an effort to keep him out of areas that the Duke was engaged in.
Whether on Charles instructions, or some other reason, the Ambassador chose to keep the Duke waiting to be received for a considerable period of time in some effort to perhaps remind the Duke of his position as not being a Head of State. When the Swedish envoy finally did get around to coming out and receiving the Duke, the Duke was Furious, but had considered his response well.
The Duke emerged from the Carriage, walked straight past the waiting dignitaries, not acknowledging them and proceeded to the nearest wall. When he got to the wall, he unfastened his breeches and extracted his member and released the full contents of his bladder on the wall in a slow and unhurried fashion. Once done, he then successfully carried on with the conference and achieved his aims and every ones station was satisfied with the results.A good chuckle all around, quick thinking on the Dukes part and a very amusing story.
In a similar vein, in the closing stages of the Second World War, the Allied Front, and Army Group Commanders (Patton was under Omar Bradley) in Western Europe all wanted to be the first to cross the Rhine, Patton sent some troops over in a boat first, stealing the thunder of Montgomery’s slightly later huge, well planned crossing of the Rhine further to the North and then famously urinated into the river as an act of defiance.
Another humorous story concerns the meeting of George Patton and his boss George Marshall shortly after the landing in Normandy when General Marshall decided to remind Patton who was who in the United States Army, possibly making Eisenhower and Bradley’s job controlling Patton a little easier.
The United States Army, under George Marshall in the Second World War was very much centered around Supply and Logistic issues, Marshall himself being one of the strongest advocates of these doctrines. George Patton was aware of these issues as were his superiors aware of his talent for pursuit and worrying about supply issues later. At their meeting on the Normandy beachhead, General Marshall decided to ask General Patton where his supply rail head was located. At this time, Patton didn’t know and muttered an excuse about being confused by all the French Town names (when both he and Marshall knew he was fluent in French, he lied.) General Marshall went into a tirade about wasting the taxpayers money by sending him over here to France when he didn’t know where his supplies were coming from, and told him to straighten up or he would be sent home. I’m sure that Eisenhower, Bradley and Montgomery were delighted that somebody took a little steam out of Patton’s huge ego and it is kinda funny. George Patton had managed to create a variety of problems with his behaviors and needed a kick in the butt from time to time to remember who and what his job was, in between insulting the Allies and some anger management problems and by generally having a loose mouth that got him in trouble if he wasn’t being careful, but he knew better than to really piss off Eisenhower and Marshall, and Patton had yet to urinate in the Rhine which probably didn’t particularly please Marshall either. Boys will be Boys!!! Some of the same personality differences were visible in Desert Storm with Powell and Stormin Norman, but to a lesser degree certainly.
Well, Bobby Knight has yet to urinate publically as the result of some officiating dispute, which brings me to the topic of personality. Sarah Palin was nice enough to bring up sports analogies in her speech resigning as Governor as well as bringing up Douglas MacArthur so I began thinking about loose cannons and discipline.
From a purely mental health perspective, many of the behaviors of some of histories most successful people are distinctly at odds with modern therapy and emphasises. Now Charles XII probably should have taken some other course than the one that ended with his death and the loss of the Swedish Empire, but his story is oddly compelling. George Patton needed therapy, but would he have been the George Patton that was needed after it? Bobby Knight is an excellent Basketball Coach, regardless of how many Academic feathers he ruffles and maybe each is needed as part of the whole and has some qualities to offer for emulation or at least consideration. But you better watch out for Sarah Palin, cause she is on the “Screamer Model”, she runs on emotion where Barack Obama is the thoughtful reflective one, both types of people have histories of success and achievement.
Charles XII of Sweden and the Great Northern War.
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